How often have you felt like the ball isn’t in your court? Over and over again. Sometimes, you might sense an unfortunate string of events, believing the world is conspiring against you, and you’re left feeling cursed or unlucky. Initially, frustration and anger may take hold, gradually morphing into disappointment and hopelessness. These emotions tend to accumulate, dragging me into a negative headspace that becomes increasingly uncomfortable.
When these events unfold, there’s a tendency to write off an entire year, a specific place, or even a person. This year, I’ve faced more instances than I’d prefer where the universe was working against me. Recently, the sentiment of “when it rains, it pours” has permeated, and I dislike 2023. Internally, I began to pout, feeling like I was done with the year.
Recognizing the need to regain a sense of grounding, I reached for my AirPods, laced up my tennis shoes, and headed out for a long walk. Walking is my go-to coping skill when I need to decompress. As I immersed myself in the present moment, I marveled at the trees in the park finally transitioning to vibrant shades of yellow, orange, and red— I had been anticipating this since October. I began to reflect on how much I love what each quarter of the year brings and how life would be so dull without seasons. I then began to think about how seasons parallel everything in life. It is a temporary period; if you do not like one season, it will change in about three months, and you will have a different one.
No, I did not get the house I wanted this year or the opportunity to participate in a race I planned for or expand our family with my husband; however, it does not mean that those things will never happen. It just did not happen when I wanted or thought it should happen. I reflected on how many great experiences I got to have this year and how there will always be more seasons for new things to take place. It is crucial to permit one to feel the range of emotions when life deviates from expectations—whether it’s anger, sadness, annoyance, grief, or pouting—. Then, look for a way to manage those emotions by going for a walk, hanging out with friends, cooking something you enjoy, taking a trip, and reframing your thoughts to help you move forward. The trees in the park didn’t change colors when I wanted them to, but in due time, it happened, and it was just as beautiful.
As a therapist, there is something I can do right now to make a difference. I can continue to maintain a safe haven for my clients. I can use my own experience to support and empathize with others.
The next time a word is thrown your way that feels sharp and stings, be aware of the source of the feelings. The thrower of the word is looking through their lens. You are looking through yours. Don’t take it personally.
With the current chaos around us, our commitment to you and your journey remains a priority. We’re here for you. Here are a few tips to help you reduce anxiety during this time.
