The Montfort Group

Coping With Disappointment

How often have you felt like the ball isn’t in your court? Over and over again. Sometimes, you might sense an unfortunate string of events, believing the world is conspiring against you, and you’re left feeling cursed or unlucky. Initially, frustration and anger may take hold, gradually morphing into disappointment and hopelessness. These emotions tend to accumulate, dragging me into a negative headspace that becomes increasingly uncomfortable.

When these events unfold, there’s a tendency to write off an entire year, a specific place, or even a person. This year, I’ve faced more instances than I’d prefer where the universe was working against me. Recently, the sentiment of “when it rains, it pours” has permeated, and I dislike 2023. Internally, I began to pout, feeling like I was done with the year.

Recognizing the need to regain a sense of grounding, I reached for my AirPods, laced up my tennis shoes, and headed out for a long walk. Walking is my go-to coping skill when I need to decompress. As I immersed myself in the present moment, I marveled at the trees in the park finally transitioning to vibrant shades of yellow, orange, and red— I had been anticipating this since October. I began to reflect on how much I love what each quarter of the year brings and how life would be so dull without seasons. I then began to think about how seasons parallel everything in life. It is a temporary period; if you do not like one season, it will change in about three months, and you will have a different one.

No, I did not get the house I wanted this year or the opportunity to participate in a race I planned for or expand our family with my husband; however, it does not mean that those things will never happen. It just did not happen when I wanted or thought it should happen. I reflected on how many great experiences I got to have this year and how there will always be more seasons for new things to take place. It is crucial to permit one to feel the range of emotions when life deviates from expectations—whether it’s anger, sadness, annoyance, grief, or pouting—. Then, look for a way to manage those emotions by going for a walk, hanging out with friends, cooking something you enjoy, taking a trip, and reframing your thoughts to help you move forward. The trees in the park didn’t change colors when I wanted them to, but in due time, it happened, and it was just as beautiful.

Picture of Erica Rezakhani, MS, LPC

Erica Rezakhani, MS, LPC

I earned my undergraduate degree in Psychology from St. Edward’s University in Austin, Texas. After a few years of personal and professional growth, I pursued my Master's of Science in Counseling at Southern Methodist University in Dallas. I work with adolescents, young adults, and the parent/teen dynamic. My specialties include career assessment, life transitions, and interpersonal relationships.

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