Three Misconceptions about Couples Counseling
Many couples wait too long to seek help with their relationship because of misconceptions about what couples counseling is like, or how it can help.
Cultivating fulfilling relationships is integral to our work at The Montfort Group. According to Dr. John Gottman, founder of The Gottman Institute, unhappy couples wait an average of six years before seeking couples counseling. This is six years of chronic conflict, resentment, criticism, contempt, defensiveness, drift, fantasies, and negative bias. These negative impacts are not that surprising. None of us like to take time out of our schedules to discuss our problems, especially our relationship issues. We all would love to believe we can handle things independently, but unfortunately, we wait until there is a “crisis.” We wait until we have exhausted every other available resource and feel exhausted.
As couples’ therapists, we are keenly aware of these complexities when you walk into our office. We know you are frustrated, somewhat desperate, and perhaps even slightly hopeless. We also know how complicated the “answers” can be. None of it is easy. Not only have we been through our share of complex relationships as professionals, but we are completely fascinated by how they work to repair and deepen. We have always felt that healthy relationships directly correlate with your quality of life.
*Couples counseling includes any form of relationship counseling, marriage counseling, premarital counseling, and counseling for partners dating or living together. Every counselor at The Montfort Group brings a holistic understanding of gender identity and sexual orientation to her practice. All of our counseling services apply to LGBTQ+ relationships and communities.
Many couples wait too long to seek help with their relationship because of misconceptions about what couples counseling is like, or how it can help.
Couples seek counseling for many reasons – sometimes it’s for a “tune-up” or for help with a particular situation. The four most common complaints I see in my practice are about communication, conflict, infidelity and physical intimacy.
Humans often save their worst behaviors for people they are close to. Science suggests, though, you might need to change your ways if you wish for a long-lasting and happy liaison.