Cultivating fulfilling relationships is integral to our work at The Montfort Group. According to Dr. John Gottman, founder of The Gottman Institute, unhappy couples wait an average of six years before seeking couples counseling. This is six years of chronic conflict, resentment, criticism, contempt, defensiveness, drift, fantasies, and negative bias. These negative impacts are not that surprising. None of us like to take time out of our schedules to discuss our problems, especially our relationship issues. We all would love to believe we can handle things independently, but unfortunately, we wait until there is a “crisis.” We wait until we have exhausted every other available resource and feel exhausted.
As couples’ therapists, we are keenly aware of these complexities when you walk into our office. We know you are frustrated, somewhat desperate, and perhaps even slightly hopeless. We also know how complicated the “answers” can be. None of it is easy. Not only have we been through our share of complex relationships as professionals, but we are completely fascinated by how they work to repair and deepen. We have always felt that healthy relationships directly correlate with your quality of life.
*Couples counseling includes any form of relationship counseling, marriage counseling, premarital counseling, and counseling for partners dating or living together. Every counselor at The Montfort Group brings a holistic understanding of gender identity and sexual orientation to her practice. All of our counseling services apply to LGBTQ+ relationships and communities.
A healthy dose of mystery can be good for your relationship. You don’t want to give away everything all at once and leave nothing for future dates and conversations. Here are seven ways you can keep your relationship interesting without playing games.
Being in a serious relationship can be difficult, especially if you have a fear of intimacy. It is made to sound easy and like an answer to a question you have been asking all of your life, but it is not always like that despite what society tries to suggest. Relationships require hard work, and above all else, they require complete openness and intimacy.
The truth is that loss is a part of life. It is as important as love, as important as security, as important as holding on to the things we value. Accepting loss gives us the power to change. If we accept the inevitability of loss, we free ourselves to feel vulnerable. And if we free ourselves to feel vulnerable, to fear losing, then we empower ourselves to examine what must change. And when we examine what must change, we enable the possibility that we can hang on to those we love. When we change, we heal. And when we heal, we love harder and longer and better.
