The Montfort Group

Maintain Mystery and Keep Relationships Interesting

A healthy dose of mystery can be good for your relationship. You don’t want to give away everything all at once and leave nothing for future dates and conversations. Here are seven ways you can keep your relationship interesting without playing games.

Don’t always be available.

There’s no rule that says you need to reply to a text from your partner within three minutes. If you’re checking your phone constantly, it doesn’t make your own life seem interesting. If you’re working or involved in your own projects, you might not check your phone for ten or twenty minutes. It would be wrong to check your texts and ignore them for 14.5 minutes. That would be considered game-playing. If you are busy with something and don’t check your phone, that’s not playing games. When you do reply, you will have something interesting to say.

Don’t offer too much information.

When you tell the person you’re dating about something you recently did, don’t bore them with all the little details. Keep the information you offer short and sweet. This helps keep your relationship interesting. If they want to ask follow-up questions, let them. Don’t hold back details that you know will make your partner suspicious as that can be considered playing games.

Be spontaneous.

Whether you are out with the person you’re dating, out with friends, or by yourself, be spontaneous. Maybe you wake up one morning and decide you want to indulge in a spa day with a friend. Or you pass by a driving range and determine today is finally the day you swing a golf club. Maybe you and your date are out and about, and you suggest a restaurant that just opened, go! These are things that will keep your relationship interesting and unpredictable. You instantly become more mysterious and exciting when people don’t know what you’re going to do next.

Contain your excitement.

When you and the person you’re seeing make plans, don’t always act over the moon about it. If you make a big deal over everything you do, this makes you seem like less of a challenge. Don’t act the same way over meeting for coffee that you would over going to a hockey game. You don’t have to be grumpy or upset about plans. Manners are always appropriate no matter the date.

Be independent.

Independent people don’t need anyone else to keep them occupied or make them happy. If the person you’re dating isn’t around, you are completely capable of entertaining yourself. You don’t need constant attention from your partner, which makes you more exciting as a person. If the person you’re dating can’t see you for a couple days, you’re not put off by it because you have plenty to do on your own.

Shake up your routine.

If you always go to the gym on the same days of the week and at the same time, go at a different time now and then. Being predictable takes the mystery out of the relationship. Don’t always be available for a date on Friday night at ten o’clock. Make alternate plans for the next week. When you’re not predictable, you and your relationship instantly become more exciting.

Don’t let them see everything.

It’s normal to become comfortable with the person you’re dating after a while, but this doesn’t mean you should do everything openly in front of your partner. Avoid going to the bathroom in front of them unless necessary. Don’t walk around in your underwear that’s falling apart because you feel close to them and have nothing to hide. Remember that your partner doesn’t need to see every little thing you do. It doesn’t make you any closer as a couple and does not keep your realationship intersting.

Maintaining some mystery in your relationship is what will help to keep it alive for years to come.

Contact The Montfort Group in Plano today to see how we can help you keep your realtionship interesting. 

Cory Montfort, MS, LPC-S

Cory Montfort, MS, LPC-S

I completed my Masters of Science in Counseling from Southern Methodist University where I specialized in working with individuals, couples, and families. I have extensive experience working within the mental health community facilitating groups, conducting assessments, counseling individuals, and performing crisis intervention. I hold an active License in Professional Counseling and am also a board-approved Counselor Supervisor for the state of Texas.

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