The Montfort Group

How To Better Handle Your Emotions

Many of life’s most significant problems stem not from a lack of technical skill, but what we call emotional intelligence. Through the appliance of emotional intelligence, we grow to become better friends and lovers. However, emotional intelligence isn’t something we are commonly taught growing up, and we end up paying for our lack of knowledge throughout much of our lives.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, control, and direct our own emotions, as well as discern the emotions of others. These skills are required to understand better, empathize, and communicate with other people. Therefore, they are an essential part of both our private lives and careers.

Many people get caught up in being able to recognize and control their emotions, but they end up lacking the ability to express and redirect them. They keep bottling up all their emotions until they explode or go numb, neither of which should be what we want. So here are some healthier ways to deal with negative emotions.

In many situations, staying calm is the right thing to do. However, throughout these situations, we slowly accumulate anger, guilt, or any number of negative feelings. A lot of us have emotions we wish we didn’t, ones we’ve buried so deep we don’t even feel them. Nevertheless, they are there, and we should find time to work through and fully experience them.

After we’ve returned to the safety of our home, finding the time to let go should be of high importance. It doesn’t need to be every day, but it should be regular. Finding the time to write down your thoughts or meditate can be extremely helpful and stress relieving. Maybe you like the idea of keeping a daily journal. Perhaps you want to express yourself through art or music. The options are endless, so find what works best for you.

Don’t be afraid to sit down and have an honest conversation with close friends or loved ones. People are inherently hard to deal with. We often have no idea what we want, so we end up doing dumb stuff. Nevertheless, when we do, who else can we expect to tell us than the people we value the most? You should make time to talk about what bothers you. Find words that express your feelings and fears. Let people know when you’ve had a hard time. Communication is the bedrock of any relationship – friendly, business, or romantic.

Bringing up problems with your partner can be very scary in the moment. But if they’re worth the time you’ve invested in them, they’ll be happy you spoke up before the problem became any bigger. After all, a lack of honest communication is the number one relationship killer.

Emotions aren’t an aspect we often associate with intelligence. However, the ability to effectively handle our emotions and read those of others is truly a matter of expertise, and it is required to form deep relationships. It’s a shame no one formally gives us guidance in emotional intelligence, so it’s even more important to be aware of the ways our methods of dealing with emotions affect us.

Cory Montfort, MS, LPC-S

Cory Montfort, MS, LPC-S

I completed my Masters of Science in Counseling from Southern Methodist University where I specialized in working with individuals, couples, and families. I have extensive experience working within the mental health community facilitating groups, conducting assessments, counseling individuals, and performing crisis intervention. I hold an active License in Professional Counseling and am also a board-approved Counselor Supervisor for the state of Texas.

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