I have been lucky enough to have found therapists who became my mentors, and working with them over a number of years changed my life in every way imaginable. One of those mentors used to say, “You can’t help but love a person who is working on themselves.” This has several layers to it, all of which I find are becoming truer with age and wisdom.

First, there are certain qualities that make us irresistible to others. By working on ourselves, we become a person everyone wants to be around. We can uncover whatever has been blocking us from seeing the light and fun and joyful sides to life, and since we see more brightly, that has the effect of radiating out to other people, and drawing them in.

Second, by doing inner work, we change our taste for the kinds of people we really love to be around. Rather than becoming more narrow-minded, we’re able to connect with people from all walks of life, people who have had formative experiences very different from our own, just on the basis of being grounded in truth and honesty. I have found that – above any superficial characteristics – what I love the most now in other people is that they are working on themselves, making goals, self-observing their behavior, and becoming careful stewards of their attention and where it goes. There is nothing quite like these friendships and relationships, and had I not done my inner work in therapy, I wouldn’t have been able to recognize the value in these friends.

I have been fortunate to join The Montfort Group to empower therapists to bring their gifts to more clients. While my career has spanned multiple industries, the common thread is my desire to use my skills to help others be in alignment with their true gifts, so that they can be their most effective and contented selves at work.