My Grief Through the Holidays
For the first time in 66 years, I won’t hear my mother’s voice on Christmas day. She died five months ago after a brief illness.
We’re all familiar with pain. It’s the uninvited guest that shows up in our lives at the worst possible moments, making everything feel heavier, harder, and less hopeful. From the sting of a paper cut to the deep ache of losing someone we love, pain touches every corner of our existence. But what if I told you that this unwelcome visitor is actually the secret ingredient to living a truly meaningful life?
Pain is often seen as the villain in the story of our lives, something to be avoided at all costs. But what if pain is actually the hero? When we go through painful experiences, we’re forced to confront parts of ourselves we might otherwise ignore. It’s in these moments that we grow the most.
Think about the last time you went through something really tough. Maybe it was the end of a relationship, the loss of a job, or a personal setback that knocked you off your feet. At the time, it probably felt like the world was ending. But once the storm passed, you likely emerged stronger, more resilient, and with a clearer sense of what truly matters to you. Pain has a way of stripping away the superficial, leaving behind only what’s real and meaningful.
Pain doesn’t just help us grow—it also connects us to others. When we’ve been through pain ourselves, we’re more likely to empathize with others who are suffering. This shared experience of pain can create deep, meaningful connections with the people around us.
Imagine a world where no one ever experienced pain. Without it, we’d have a lot less empathy, a lot less understanding, and a lot fewer opportunities to truly connect with others on a deep level. It’s through our own experiences with pain that we learn to be more compassionate, to offer support, and to be there for others in their darkest moments.
Pain can also be a powerful motivator, pushing us to find purpose and meaning in our lives. When we go through difficult times, we’re often driven to make sense of our suffering. This quest for meaning can lead us to discover passions we didn’t know we had, to pursue goals that align with our deepest values, or to help others who are going through similar struggles.
Some of the most purpose-driven people you’ll ever meet are those who have turned their pain into something positive. They’re the ones who start charities, advocate for important causes, or dedicate their lives to helping others heal. In their cases, pain isn’t just an obstacle—it’s the fuel that drives them to make a difference in the world.
It’s natural to want to avoid pain, but in doing so, we might be missing out on some of the most meaningful experiences life has to offer. Pain is not just something to be endured; it’s something to be embraced as a vital part of the human experience.
When we stop running from pain and start seeing it as a teacher, we open ourselves up to a life that’s richer, deeper, and more meaningful. Pain shows us what really matters, helps us connect with others on a profound level, and gives us the drive to live a life of purpose.
So, the next time pain shows up in your life, don’t just push it away. Instead, take a moment to listen to what it’s trying to teach you. You might just find that this unwelcome guest is the secret ingredient you’ve been missing on your journey to a truly meaningful life.
For the first time in 66 years, I won’t hear my mother’s voice on Christmas day. She died five months ago after a brief illness.
Human beings are wired for connection, and we need it to survive and thrive. Cultivating connections in relationships with ourselves and others can help combat loneliness along with these six prevention techniques.